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Jesse_BluetailedFly
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Name: Jesse
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Lancaster
Birthday: 7/20/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: Growing ever closer to my beautiful girlfriend, competitive swimming, skimboarding, waterskiing, sports in general (I never get too intense though), playin' guitar, goofing off, making and being with friends, punk, hard, and classic rock, reading, observing people, thinking abstractly at times, video games, driving stick, the smell of my freshly showered girlface, anything Old Spice, talking like Homestar, singing (all the time), and dancing.
Expertise: I'm really a jack-of-all-trades. There's nothing I've really ever been terrible at, but nothing I've ever been wicked awesome at either; right down to my main areas of "expertise," swimming, sketching, writing, singing, and making almost anything fun.
Occupation: Front Desk at Willow Valley
Industry: Hotel
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  jessterman21
Member Since:
4/13/2004
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| HEY I'M ENGAGED!!! Wedding date equals June 23 in Savannah GA on the BEACH!!!
Booya. | | |
| No more internet at work, no computer at home, so probably very rarely will I post.  Later y'all. | | |
| I have never heard an f-word uttered by a woman over 60 until last night. And I have never heard so many used in the same sentence. Ever. She was spitting and crying and cursing her family, our staff, and the owner for not getting the table she wanted at our New Year's party at Willow Valley last night. I couldn't believe I was witnessing this woman exhibit the most immature behavior I've ever seen out of anyone, not to mention language that would make a sailor blush... screaming the f-word at her 5-year-old grandchildren, and throwing stuff at me, spitting and snotting everywhere - while I'm trying to duck these projectiles - all the while telling her there's nothing I could do about it other than give her a comment card and our owner's address. I felt like I was dealing with Annie's kids from the summer. INcredible. | | |
| Where were we, now? Oh yes, on the plane to Charlotte. We had a connecting flight there to complete our journey to Savannah, wherefore to meet Kortney's family and to celebrate Christ's birth with them. We laughed with giddy relief to have made it aboard our current flight virtually unscathed, and we proceeded to take a glorious and uninterrupted nap. We arrived slightly late at Charlotte, and somehow this news posessed my companion with an unquenchable fervor to sadistically run all the way to our next gate. I tried every trick in the book to break the will of this untameable mare, even going as far as grabbing her ankles and dragging behind, but she had transformed into a running machine who would not, could not be satiated. We arrived at our gate tired and severely rugburned, and we heard the clerk tell us what I'd known all along... we still had ten minutes left. The love of my life transmogrified back to her original form and sweetly asked me if I wanted some Cinnabon. I spat blood and replied yes, of course. We slid into our seats on the plane that would take us to our final destination while I nursed my wounds with cinnasticks.
The flight was uneventful.
When we arrived in Savannah, we walked slowly off the plane, down to the baggage claim. Oh how I wished the drama would've ended there. We waited for a good half-hour, but ne'er came our bags. Then suddenly, something snapped in my brain, and an unmatchable fury was unleashed. I assaulted the first thing that came into my reddened and blurry vision - which happened to be a 75-year-old matron blinking aimlessly at her cell phone. I cut a bloody swath worthy of General Sherman through the crowds like a human tornado - aiming at the help desk on the first floor. The poor woman never knew what hit her. She collapsed like a house of cards under the mass of verbal abuse I unleashed upon her when I realized I could not attack her physically - due to the 3-foot-thick granite wall and razor-wire between us. She was dragged off by security, and I used my superb hacking skills on some lady's Blackberry to get our luggage delivered to Kortney's house within three hours. We left the final airport in our getaway car - driven by none other than Kortney's morther herself, dressed like an old-timey bandit - black mask and all. We sped off, all three cackling like deranged hyenas for the sheer joy of it.
More tomorrow! | | |
|  | Currently Watching
Home Alone
By Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Roberts Blossom, Catherine O'Hara, Angela Goethals, Devin Ratray, Gerry Bamman, Hillary Wolf, John Candy, Larry Hankin, Michael C. Maronna, Kristin Minter, Daiana Campeanu, Jedidiah Cohen, Kieran Culkin, Senta Moses, Anna Slotky, Terrie Snell
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Haha probably the best one ever, because of the ridiculosity of it all. Kortney and I ended up running through every one of the airports we were in, just to make our next flight. Way too Home Alone. I was reminded that indeed I am allergic to cats, and that no one should ever trust me to bring my ID at times when I need it most...
It started at 3:30 in the morning on Saturday, both of us having worked til midnight the night before. I picked Kortney up at about 4, and we set off upon what would turn out to be our most eventful adventure yet... and most definitely our most memorable Christmas ever. We picked up some coffee on the way, and hurtled down the road to the Philadelphia International Airport, where there would be, promised US Airlines, a jet awaiting us. We tried very hard to find a parking spot in long-term, but there were none to be found, even though the lot was at least 3 square miles... But we finally found one, in the furthest-back corner - away from anything, and picked up the shuttle towards check-in.
We got there, and you cannot, CAN NOT imagine the ridiculousness that ensued. It was a mad-house, even at 5:45 in the morning! People yelling and running, old ladies stabbing clerks with their nail-files, middle-aged men climbing over toddlers to get their morning bagel before their flight, young mothers trading their children for first-class seats, and old men picking up torn-off jewelry and smuggling it through security. Brother pitted against brother, and babies - having babies. Kortney and I waded our way through the massive and deadly throng, keeping our heads down and our eyes level. But, of course, someone had smashed their Auntie Ethel's head into the auto-checkin machines, and the clerks were busy bleeding to death from nail-file stab-wounds, so we jumped behind the counter to print off our boarding passes ourselves. We tried and failed thrice, but on the third try, we were successful, and blasted through security, elbowing and shoving men, women, and children alike along the way. Then we ran our out-of-shape legs off to our gate (and apparently through a magical mist along the way that temporarily made my beautiful girlfriend involuntarily spew obscenities). We arrived and realized that they had already closed the doors to board passengers - but did that stop this intrepid and determined duo? NO! We burst through the maitenance door, setting off every alarm in the airport simultaneously, and raced after our plane in a motorized luggage cart. To our alarm, the jet was taxiing onto the runway to leave us, but we quickly caught up with it in the suprisingly speedy cart, grabbed the landing gear, and swung ourselves up into the cabin. Then we nonchalantly waltzed through the aisle and took our seats for a much-needed nap.
More tomorrow!!! | | |
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